LOS ANGELES—What began as a tame discussion on housing affordability and insurance rates devolved Wednesday when the candidates set each other on fire during the final televised debate before California’s June primary.

The seven candidates—two Republicans who hate Democrats but lack the imagination for separate ideas, and five Democrats with 47 former titles between them—took the stage at the Skirball Cultural Center to audition for the role of “person who gets blamed next.” Steve Hilton and Riverside County Sheriff Chad Bianco teamed up to attack their opponents while quietly realizing they were the same man.

In a rare moment of unity, the group rejected a proposed billionaire tax, arguing it would stifle innovation, harm education, and prove especially regrettable should any of them accidentally become billionaires by cashing in on the spectacle.

California’s top-two primary system advances the top two finishers to November regardless of party, a format designed by people who gave up long ago.

At press time, every viewer who hadn’t already moved to Nevada was refreshing Zillow listings in states that still have electricity.